The Dwight Howard Controversy

Professor Remix here to give a guest lecture on evaluation of evidence.

Dwight Howard won the NBA's Slam Dunk contest with a variety of ballin' dunks, although I still think that someone could have beaten him by performing the DozNut dunk, in which the DOZR stands under the basket and the player jumps and dunks and lands his nuts on the DOZR's face. If you don't know who the DOZR is, we'll do an in-depth athlete profile later.

The most controversial dunk that Howard did was the Superman dunk, in which he jumped off both feet, elevated several feet before the basket, and threw the ball threw the rim before returning to Earth. Several fans were upset that he did not touch the rim, and suggested that he be disqualified for failing to dunk.
Let's examine the dunk in question.

To perform a dunk, you must "throw it down, big man, throw it down."

The following questions must be asked.
1. Did Mr. Howard throw "it" down?
2. Is Master Howard a big man?
3. Did gentleman Howard throw it down?


1. First we must ask what "it" is. Is it a basketball? The evidence shows that Dwight Howard was clearly holding a basketball. Next we must determine if the basketball was thrown, and, if so, if it was thrown down. Video evidence shows that the basketball was thrown with almost no arc, and this helpful diagram illustrates that the direction it was thrown was down.

2. Dwight Howard is 6'11", and weighs 265 pounds, which is considered a "big" size for a person. He is an adult human male, or "man."

3. We already answered this. Pay attention in class.*

Some people will say that even if he did "throw it down, big man, throw it down" the dunk shouldn't count because he meant to throw it down directly above the rim. Well, a lot of people made history doing things by accident that they didn't mean to do. Mohammad Atta organized a group of people to go hijack some planes and go joyriding around New York City and the D.C. area but when they accidentally crashed into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon it still counted as a famous terrorist attack.

If you want to protest something in basketball, protest the injuries to Caron, Gil, and AD.

*Professor Remix does not advocate paying attention in any classes except those taught by Professor Swag and associates.