Dmitri Young Bobblehead Not Lovably Obese Enough

Thursday, May 1 is Dmitri Young Bobblehead Night when the Nationals take on Pittsburgh at Nationals Park. I received this picture of Dmitri's bobblehead from the Nationals' Ticketing office, and I must say that I am disappointed with it. For a man who's nicknamed "Da Meat Hook" and checked into training camp at a hearty 297 pounds, there doesn't appear to be a whole lot of "meat" on his bobblehead's frame. I wonder if Jim Bowden intentionally had them manufactured with the dimensions Dmitri promised to show up at camp sporting. The only other possibility I see is the young Chinese children manufacturing Da Meat Hook's bobblehead simply couldn't believe a man of Dmitri's stature truly existed, since Da Meat Hook most likely packs down more food in a single sitting than each of their families eat in a week, combined. Rice prices are at critical levels right now.

My second complaint is what the hell is he doing with his arms? The Soulja Boy? That song and it's accompanying dance have been old since last baseball season. If you had Dmitri Young Bobblehead Night last August, having Da Meat Hook posed crankin' dat would have made sense. Eight months later, Soulja Boy fans have moved on to his latest "songs" including "YAHH! (feat. A-Rab)" and "Get Silly" by V.I.C. (feat. Soulja Boy). Either that, or Da Meat Hook is getting ready to lay the smack down on some pitcher who made the mistake of throwing the ball behind Dmitri's head. That I would approve of.