The New Lebron Shoe

My colleague Professor Swag mentioned Lebron James's ref-assisted heroics against the Wizards on Friday. I don't want to hate on Lebron, I want to help him out with a business idea. It goes along with his line of shoes and it's called Lebron's Frequent Traveler Program. It's basically like frequent-flier miles, except instead of getting points for flying on a particular airline, you get points for traveling while wearing Lebron's shoes. If you get away with the travel, you get a bonus point. You can turn in the points to get free shoes, or the right to travel more.

Anybody can use Lebron's Frequent Traveler Program, but of course nobody can use it as well as Lebron himself. My suggestion to him is to earn as many miles as he can during the regular season, and then if the Cavs are playing the Wizards, he can cash in all those miles and travel all over the place during the fourth quarter. It won't matter because Eddie Jordan will have invented the Don't Let Lebron Get Away With Shit Defense in which Andray Blatche and Brendan Haywood pre-empt the cheap fouls by punching him in the arm so he can't make free throws.

I Hate Lebron, I Hate Lebron, I Hate Lebron...

That foul the cheating ass refs called on Brendan Haywood with 7 second left was nowhere shy of complete bullshit. C'mon NBA, you're riding Lebron's cock a little too hard. The only gratifying thing about the whole experience was the fact that when Cleveland got the ball with about 25 seconds left, I called exactly what was going to happen. My prediction: Lebron would drive and shoot creating one of two possible scenarios:
1. Lebron makes it and Cleveland wins fair and square
2. Lebron misses, the refs wait to see that he misses, then call a foul on whoever its convenient to call a foul on. officiating

Scenario 2 is the one that panned out. My favorite part was how the repeated replays confirmed the fact that the ref along the baseline in the back corner did not even put the whistle into his mouth until he saw the ball miss. This was one of those classic Cleveland vs. Washington games where the refs can either call a travel on Lebron at the end of the game, or give him a foul. I think you can guess the call they always make.
Also, mother fuck a Damon Jones and his mother fucking mohawk. You may have had 27 points tonight, but you still only average 5.9 a game this season and 6.7 for your career, you fucking suck ass bitch.