Headin' Down to the Farm

As you may or may not know, the Nationals recently acquired Bret Boone, adding to the already impressive collection of Boones in the organization (brother Aaron, backup 3B and father Bob, Assistant GM). With the naming rights to the tentatively named “Nationals Park” still up for grabs, why not bring another member of the Boone family into the Nats organization? I’m taking about Boone’s Farm Wine.

The gem on the waterfront that is the new Nats stadium could be “Boone’s Farm Field.” Think of the flavor it would add to what is already shaping up to be a potentially tasty season. With Apple Blossom, Blackberry Ridge, Blueberri, Blue Hawaiian, Country Kwencher (my personal favorite), Fuzzy Navel, Hard Lemonade, Kiwi Strawberry, Mango Grove, Melon Ball, Mountain Berry, Orange Hurricane, Pina Colada, Raspberry Hard Lemonade, Sangria, Snow Creek Berry, Strawberry Daiquiri, Strawberry Hill, Strawberry Margarita, Sun Peak Peach, Wild Island, Wild Raspberry and inevitably other delicious flavors available, the possibilities are endless.

With the sponsorship of Boone’s Farm the Nats could leave Screech begging for change on 19th & E. Capital St. Instead of a wobbly, obese bird who spends 50% of games gyrating his belly fat in the faces of little kids just think about this: Willie Wino. Willie Wino could be like Bernie Brewer, except instead of making alcohol, he would consume it. Also Willie Wino would smell a lot worse.